Here’s To Strong Women!
We are pleased to announce to announce the second scholarship winner of the Poshified Scholarship.
This story hits home to all of us who manage life’s messes with strength and power!
The SECOND Spring 2017 Poshified Scholarship winner is:
A Messy Strength
By: Jessica Kime
“A strong girl doesn’t cry” the school counselors would suggest to me as I sat across them with an anxiety ridden heart. I lived the majority of my childhood and youth suffering with silent panic attacks that would often cripple me from journeying the unknowns of life. Fear was my best friend because she helped me stay “safe” and anxiety was just rightfully predicting the dreadful truths of my future. This reality was where I found my strength. I was okay with this normal, that is, until I met Jenn.
When I was 21, Jenn, a wife and a mother of four girls, invited me live with her. My first attempt at moving out was a success. I tricked my brain into moving across state lines from Florida to Georgia. When I met Jenn, I felt a breath of fresh air that gave me hope. I can do this. I can live on my “own”. The first time I stepped foot into Jenn’s house, I tripped over a mound of baby toys, silverware and muddy shoes. As I reluctantly trailed further into her house of screaming girls I noticed a sink full of dirty dishes and a laundry room overflowing with uncleaned clothes. I was immediately anxious. “How on earth could someone live in this mess?” I thought to myself. But as I gazed back at Jenn I couldn’t find one hint of stress on her face. It was as if she was genuinely content. While her girls were going crazy and an overwhelming amount of tasks had to be done, Jenn kept her calm and more importantly she invited me in! This upside down encounter led me to question myself.
Where does my peace come from? Where does my strength come from? I believed my strength came from holding my mess inside. If I can just keep it all together and not let my pain seep through the cracks then no one will notice. I often thought strength was perfection. But there was something refreshing about Jenn and her messy house. She invited me in when things weren’t perfect. Jenn didn’t even apologize for her mess. Her attitude didn’t shift from kind to annoyed because of her mess. Jenn was content. I learned a lot from Jenn that year. She taught me how to be okay with my past and how to talk about my anxiety, my fears and worries. Jenn cast light on the lies of perfectionism in my life that year and for the first time ever I gave myself grace.
“A strong girl doesn’t cry” breeds life to the lie that women who are strong have to be held together. I believe that a strong woman is someone who is messy. She is vulnerable. A strong woman invites you into her heart that’s still healing from brokenness. A strong woman invites you into her upside down heart and allows you to see all her flaws because she knows it just might bring you hope. For many years anxiety told me to be “strong”. It wasn’t until I realized my strength didn’t come from knowing everything, it came from trusting the unknown. I was born to be a strong woman inspired by a messy heart. I will choose be like Jenn even when it hurts. So today, I invite you into my messy house.